Naughty or Nice
by pinkcat4569
Summary: It's a fun little distraction at Christmas that gets out of hand.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Naughty or Nice

Author: Pinkcat4569

Rating: G

Spoilers: None

Description: It's just a fun, little distraction for the holidays that gets out of hand.

Disclaimer: I don't own Primeval or the characters

Naughty or Nice, Part 1

Jess smiled as she walked into the canteen. She tacked a large glitter sign, half red, half green, to the wall. Then she climbed onto a table, not easy in her white, fur-lined mini shirt, and addressed the crowd.

"Attention. I am helping Father Christmas by keeping a list of all ARC employees. Good behavior lands you on the nice list, that is the green side of the sign, and bad behavior, on the naughty list, the red side. Thank you," she said with a smile.

As she moved off the table, she wobbled but was caught by Becker.

"Thank you," she said. "That lands you on the nice list."

He smirked. "With that skirt, Jess, one slip of my hand and it's the naughty list."

Jess blushed. "Becker," she said, mildly scolding him.

"Who decides if we're naughty or nice?" asked Connor.

"I do," said Jess.

"That doesn't seem fair," said Matt.

"Well, I'm the one keeping track. The board is a sort of a score card. You want more nice than naughty."

"Depends on what you're going for," said Lieutenant Vale. "I have a reputation to uphold." He flashed his white, sizzling smile.

Jess shook her head. "Suit yourself. Anyone can keep track, as long as its fair."

The next few days Jess kept her eyes pealed. For the nice list she documented the following things: Becker bringing her coffee. Becker saving her a piece of cake. Becker fixing her flat tire. Emily helping Abby nurse a baby pterosuar. Connor helping her fix a program. Becker saving Matt's life during a raptor attack. Connor saving Abby during the same attack. Becker helping her hang holly in Op. Lester defending the team to the minister after they demolished three double decker buses, and each team member saving nearly two hundred people during that incident.

"Is it just me or is Becker getting more 'nices,' than the rest of us?" asked Connor.

Jess made a disapproving sound with her teeth. "That was naughty," she said, making a notation on her PDA.

"Did you just 'naughty' me? That's not fair," said Connor.

"You are kind of biased toward Becker," said Abby.

Jess shook her head, and made another notation.

"Did you just mark_ me_ as naughty?" asked Abby. "For questioning you?"

"She's a nice/naughty Nazi."

"Connor! That's not nice," she said, making a notation.

"I thought you were going to be fair," said Matt.

"I am."

"No, you're not," said Abby.

"You're marking Becker as super-nice because you fancy him!" cried Connor.

"I am not! I do not!"

"Perhaps, we should have a committee to decide on who is what," said Emily.

"No," said Jess. "My rules."

"I'm going down to the canteen," said Connor. "I'm going to get a cuppa, a piece of cake, and take my marker with me."

"Marker?"

Abby smirked. "I think you should check the naughty list in a few minutes Jess."

"Fine, add me to the naughty list," she said. "I don't care."

Abby and Connor walked off, Abby smiling but Connor looked miffed.

Matt smirked and bent down to Jess. "Hoping a certain Captain will punish you?" he whispered.

She blushed red. "Matt! Naughty!"

Matt laughed as she made another notation.

A few days later, Becker walked into the canteen. There was a small crowd around the naughty/nice list, and they were giggling.

"What's so funny?" he asked. "Vale has so many naughties they had to start another list?"

"No sir, almost, but not for Vale," said private Thompson.

"Really, who?" he asked, interested.

Nurse Beverly laughed. "Connor and Jess are having a war," she said.

"Yeah," said Thompson. "They're both full on the naughty side, and its getting pretty vindictive."

Becker laughed. "Let me see."

Beverly stopped him. "You might not want to, Captain."

Thompson looked at his CO. "It might be a little...warm, for you Sir."

"What do you mean?" asked Becker. "Let me see."

Becker saw Jess' nice list. His name was mentioned about twenty times, and the comments weren't straightforward anymore.

"Becker, being a hero and catching a Terror Bird practically by himself. Becker, being a sweetheart and bringing Jess dinner when she was too swamped to get it herself. Becker, holding off ten future predators and protecting Connor as he opened the future anomaly."

Becker blushed. It was Connor's list, however, that made him, as Thompson had said, warm.

Connor's naughty list read: "Jess, staring at Becker's bum. Jess, hogging the prawn crackers for Becker. Jess, changing the break room radio to Becker's favorite channel when Connor was listening to his. Jess, writing more Becker on the nice list than anyone else. Jess writing more Connor on the naughty list for making fun of her and Becker. Jess, drooling over Becker working out on the monitor instead of checking Connor's program like she promised."

"You're right. It's vindictive," said Becker, blushing.

"Read Jess' naughty side," said Beverly.

"Do I really want to?" asked Becker. Beverly chuckled, but Becker read it.

Jess' naughty list read: "Connor, for being a grinch and attacking Jess on the naughty list. Connor, for eating the chocolate Becker gave Jess. Connor, for teasing Becker about not knowing as much scientic mumbo-jumbo that no one really needs to know as Connor. Connor, for re-setting Jess' alarm clock radio so she woke up to that horrible stuff Connor listens to. Connor, for taking a photo of Jess looking at Becker, casually, just by chance, and not staring at his bum by the way, and posting it on her ARC web page."

"He didn't really do that last one, did he?" asked Becker.

"He did," said Abby, walking in. "It was up for a whole day before I realized it. He took it down, and apologized, but Jess is angry, and Connor is mad at her. Becker, we need to stop this. I've tried to reason with Connor but he's acting like a brat."

Becker sighed. "Trust those two to turn something small and inconsequential into a big frothy mess. I'll talk to Jess. Keep trying with Connor."

"Uh, Sir," said Thompson, "Are you sure you should? You'll just end up in another glowing entry on the nice list."

Becker sighed and shook his head. "I hate Christmas," he muttered.

End of Part 1


	2. Chapter 2

Naughty or Nice, part 2

Becker walked to the ADD. What would he say? How do you stop two people from acting like juveniles.

"Hey, Jess," he said lightly.

She smiled pleasantly. "Hey yourself."

Becker stared. She wore a bright blue sweater with snowflakes sprinkled across, and a short silver skirt, with sheer white stockings, also sprinkled with snowflakes.

She was stunning, as usual, but it was her shoes that mesmerized him. The bottom of the shoes, and the heels were silver, but the shoe bodies were transparent, and her feet were visible. For some reason, the tantalizing view of her foot had him spellbound.

Eventually, he realized he was staring in stunned silence.

"So, I was just down in the canteen. Saw the naughty and nice list."

Her smile fell and she turned red. "Sorry. I was hoping you'd miss it. I don't suppose you missed the picture on the web page."

"Actually, I did miss it."

"Oh, that's a relief," she said, chuckling. "I wasn't staring. I just happened to be looking your way."

He smiled. "No worries."

She smiled. "Good."

"Jess, um, about this naughty/nice war you seem to be having with Connor..."

"A war? It's not that bad."

"It isn't? It seems pretty bad to me. Are you even speaking to him?"

"Of course," said Jess. "Here he comes. Watch us talk."

Connor walked up. "Here, your program," he said, handing her a disc.

Jess smiled. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Connor left.

"See?" asked Jess.

Becker laughed. "I say more to him than that."

Jess frowned. "It's his fault. He started it."

"Jess, that's not very mature."

"So."

Becker sighed. "OK, I think we should take the list down."

"No. I'm just a little miffed. I'll get over it, and Connor will stop acting like a bonehead. We'll be fine."

Becker chuckled. "Glad to hear it."

"Have you written anything on the list?" asked Jess.

"I thought you were the only one who was writing on it."

"Not anymore. Most people are writing sweet little comments about their friends, partners, or crushes," she said, smiling. "Anyone you want to leave something cute for?"

Becker stared. "Not really."

She frowned.

"Promise me, Jess, no more bad things about Connor."

"OK," she said, "but l'm still leaving nice comments."

"That's fine," he said. "I'll ask Connor to behave too."

"Alright. See you later?"

Becker chuckled. "Yeah."

Jess decided to make up with Connor. Becker seemed upset by their tiff and she didn't want the list coming down. She found Connor in his lab.

"Hey, do you have a second?"

"I guess," he said.

"I'm sorry. I've been acting like a stupid kid."

Connor smiled. "Me too. I' m really sorry about the web picture, and not because Becker threatened to make my next picture look like a crime scene photo."

Jess chuckled. "Did he really say that?"

"Yes, he did."

"I didn't put him up to it, Connor," said Jess.

"I know. And like I said, I'm sorry."

"Thank you. I guess I've gotten carried away writing nice things about Becker. You probably didn't realize, but I have a bit of a crush on him."

"You do, really?" asked Connor, with a smile. "Well, I didn't have to tease you, and not on a sign everyone could read."

"I'm the one who put up the sign. Anyway, truce? Can we be friends again?"

"Sure," said Connor. "We are friends."

"Will you be home early tonight? We could have movie night."

Connor smiled. "We haven't done that in a long time."

"Too long. How about it?"

"Sure. Brilliant. You get the movie, and I'll get dinner."

Jess smiled. "Great. I'll tell Abby. Right, well, back to work."

"See ya later," he said, and she left.

Jess stopped in the canteen and wrote on the nice list. "Connor and Jess, for coming to their senses, apologizing and forgiving each other, and for Becker, mediating their squabble."

She smiled. Then she glanced over the list and found her name on some nice comments she hadn't seen.

"Jess, for bringing the holiday spirit into the ARC. Jess, for bringing biscuits into work. Jess, for buying the biscuits and not attempting to bake them like last year. Jess, keeping us safe by being our eyes and ears on missions."

Who wrote those? She knew who she wanted them to be from, but he wouldn't, would he?

Jess questioned the people she ran into on the way back to the ADD. No one knew who had wrote the comments.

"Hey, Jess," said Abby. "Thanks for making up with Connor. Want to go shopping to celebrate?"

Jess stared. "You're asking me if I want to go shopping? Is this a gag?"

"No. I need to do some Christmas shopping. I want to get something naughty for Connor."

Jess smiled. "Are you going to buy sexy lingerie?"

Abby blushed. "Maybe. You want to come?"

"Sure. Not that I have anyone to buy lingerie for, but I can help you look," she said, and she sighed wistfully. "It would be nice to have someone to be naughty with."

Abby chuckled. "You will."

Jess asked Abby about the comments on the nice list. "I have no idea. Did you ask Becker?"

Jess smiled. "I wish, Abby, but there's no way he'd write something everyone could see."

"You never know," said Abby.

"Ho, ho, ho," said Matt, as Abby and Jess strolled into the hub. He offered them a mug. "Eggnog, Emily's family recipe."

Emily stood over a desk, ladling eggnog from a large punch bowl.

"It seems Miss Parker, that your decorating, oufits, and that infernal list have spread the Christmas cheer," Lester said, and he sniffed the nog in his mug. "Not bad, could use some brandy," he said, sipping. "I approve, Miss Merchant."

"Thank you, Lester."

"Put that woman on the nice list," said Lester, strolling back into his office.

"It was nice of you," said Jess.

"I wanted to start the season right," said Emily. "I tended to dread Christmas back home. There were so many obligations, and they rarely generated any cheer for me."

"That's sad," said Abby. She took a sip. "This is really good."

"Matt," said Becker, jogging in. "I need your help."

"Something wrong?" asked Jess with concern.

"No, just...security stuff."

"Let's go," said Matt.

Becker and Matt disappeared for a while, but Matt came back. Becker did not.

"Is he OK?"

Matt smiled. "He is," he said. "It's just security stuff. He's fine."

"OK," she said, unsure.

Jess went to her locker and opened it. She gasped. Inside was a small organizer for her shoes, made of wood. She had a pair of flats, sneakers, and boots in her locker, and each sat in a small cubby.

"Do you like it?" asked Becker.

Jess turned pink. "How? Why? Yes! I love it!"

Becker smirked. "The 'how' is I constructed it at home and Matt helped me bring it in and fit it."

"The 'security stuff' from earlier?" she asked.

"Yeah. The 'why' is that I read some of the nice comments left for you. The writer was right. You have brought Christmas into the ARC, and you do watch over our missions. I wanted to say thank you. The only thing you love more than chocolate is your shoes, so I thought maybe you needed a way to store them."

She ran up and hugged him. "Thank you. You're on the nice list for life."

He chuckled. "I don't know about that. I'm just glad you're happy."

"Very. Everyone is getting so Christmas-y and generous," she said, looking at her new shoe organizer.

"So, Jess, you don't know who wrote those things?"

"No. It wasn't you?"

"Sorry," said Becker.

"It's OK. I guess I have an admirer."

"I guess you do," said Becker.

The next morning, Jess came into work with several bags of scones. She loved spreading cheer, and being thoughtful. Maybe others would keep it up too, just like Emily and Becker had. She dropped the scones into the break room, to the cheers of those inside, and then she went to check the list.

First, she wrote Emily on the nice list, writing, "for her lovely eggnog."

Jess then added Becker to the nice list, trying to keep it vague. She didn't want to make anyone feel bad, like Connor had because of the many Becker nices, and she didn't want to embarrass Becker.

She wrote, "Becker for thanking and appreciating a colleague."

She checked for her name, and there it was, several times. It was in the naughty list.

End Part 2


	3. Chapter 3

I've up the rating to T for some innuendos, but it isn't bad.

Naughty or Nice, Part 3

"I haven't been naughty," said Jess out loud.

"You haven't?" asked Lt. Vale, buying coffee. "I have, and the ladies are grateful."

Jess rolled her eyes. "Are any of your stories true?"

"Jess! I'm wounded. Of course not."

She laughed.

"So, Miss Parker, what are your sins?" asked Lt. Vale.

Jess read,

"Jess, for wearing that sexy icicle outfit complete with see-through shoes. It makes me weak in the knees."

"It was lovely," said Lt. Vale.

"It wasn't sexy," said Jess.

"I'd argue with you on that, although, I don't think it was 'naughty' worthy," said Vale.

"Thank you," said Jess. She read more, "Jess, for that sexy Santa outfit she wore to last year's Christmas party, and we all hope she'll wear again this year."

"OK, that one is worthy of the naughty list. The Captain threatened to make every man at the party blind."

"He did not," said Jess. "You're making that up."

"I swear, Jess. It drove him crazy."

She blushed. "There is one more," she said, reading, "Jess, for wearing the daily short skirts that show off her gorgeous legs."

Jess stared at the list. "Who wrote that?" she said out loud. "Who?"

"I don't know. I could guess, but I don't want to die," said Vale.

"He wouldn't write something everyone, including his men, could read," said Jess.

"Something wrong, Jess?" asked Becker.

Vale blushed. "You handle this," he whispered to Jess. "See you later, Miss Parker." He nodded to his Captain, and retreated in a hurry.

"Did Vale upset you?"

"What? No, not at all," said Jess. "This, um, list startled me."

"Not again, Connor promised he was done."

"I don't think it's Connor," said Jess.

Becker came over, and read them. "Bold."

"That's all you have to say?"

"Why? Do they bother you?" asked Becker.

"No, not really," said Jess. "I just don't know who it is, and I'm not sure how I feel about someone thinking those things about me."

"They weren't bad," said Becker.

"No, but someone has obviously been dwelling on me. I want to know who."

Becker sighed. "Maybe you don't. You may not like him."

"That's why I want to know. It was crummy not to leave his name."

"No one is leaving names Jess, and to be fair, you're the one who wore the items he commented on."

"Oh! It's my fault is it!"

Becker chuckled. "No, I just mean, if you didn't want anyone thinking about them, why wear them? Anyway, why are you upset? The writer wasn't rude or obscene. You should be flattered, shouldn't you?"

"I am flattered! But what good does it do to be flattered and not know who flattered me!"

She stomped off in a huff, and Becker smiled.

Jess sat at the ADD, stewing. She was flustered by the fact that someone liked her. She was also miffed at Becker. She didn't like his reaction. He was mean, and worse, not even jealous.

Connor and Abby walked in, holding hands and blushing.

"I take it the lingerie was worth the price?" asked Jess.

Abby blushed and smiled. "Every penny."

Jess chuckled. "Again, I am jealous. You have a boyfriend who loves you, and I have an unknown admirer and pinhead friends."

"Excuse me?"

"Not you Abby. Becker. I read him the comments someone put about me on the naughty list and he acted stupid."

"Naughty comments? Becker was jealous and overprotective, huh?"

"No, not at all. He was flippant and annoying."

"That's strange."

"It is," she said, with annoyance. Jess than thought about it. "It is," said Jess, smiling. "Do you think? No, he wouldn't. Would he?"

Abby smiled. "Maybe."

Jess was less annoyed.

Jess decided to test him to see if her admirer was, in fact, Becker.

First, she dressed to make him drool. She had to be clever or it wouldn't work, and he might end up blinding a lot of men.

Her plan was to wear essentially two outfits. She'd wear a short version for Becker and wear the same outfit, a little longer, for everyone else. If the admirer wrote about the short one, than she had him. If the admirer wrote about the long one, than she was still clueless.

The shimmering gold outfit kept to the Christmas theme she had been wearing for weeks. She walked in, her coat covering the outfit until she discovered where Becker was.

She snuck around the ARC, trying to find Becker. She got some curious looks. She knew she didn't look like herself. Her skirt was longer than usual, to the knee. And she wore a high collar on her blouse, which she never wore, buttoned all the way up her neck.

The strange outfit was definitely noticed. So was the tight hair bun.

Now, for the short version. Where was Becker?

Finally she found him in the armory. No one was with him, so she needed to do this quick. She adjusted her skirt, folding the waist band in until the skirt was mid-thigh. She secured the altered band with pins so it wouldn't fall while she talked to Becker. She undid the collar and folded it down, and opened some buttons, revealing a hint of cleavage. She undid her hair and fanned it out around her shoulders.

She strutted confidently in.

"Hi, Becker. How are you?"

Becker stood, tongue out and staring. Jess tried very hard not to smile. It was killing her. She managed though.

"Are you alright?" she asked, concerned.

Becker shook alive, and composed himself. "I..I..I'm fine. How are you? You look...um," he sighed, "fantastic," he conceded.

Jess blushed. "Thank you. It's not too much?"

Becker laughed. "There's not enough of it to be too much. You look fine. Everything's covered, just."

She smiled. "So, I wanted to ask you to have lunch. I have something to discuss with you."

"OK, sure. Lunch sounds great."

"Good, see you then. Bye."

"Bye, Jess."

Jess walked out slowly, jiggling slightly. She posed at the door, and looked behind her. His eyes lingered on her legs. She was glad she had chosen shoes that tied up them. She smiled, and left.

She hurried to an empty room, and adjusted back the skirt and blouse and re-did her hair. Now, if she could just keep him from seeing her dressed like this. And pray nobody told him about the outfit. It dawned on her that it may have been too extreme. His men were bound to say something, she realized.

She worked, nervously waiting for lunch. She had several errands to do, and each time she checked the list to see if he'd written. No. She wasn't hearing any scuttlebutt which was good. She decided to undo her hair and relax the collar, but not as low as it had been for Becker. She hoped if she looked a little more normal, no one would say anything to Becker.

Finally, lunch.

She ran to the list.

Naughty. "Jess, for her saucy gold outfit that was scorching hot! She shone like a tantalizing star. I want her to adorn my tree! The high heels were sexy, but those criss-cross strands up her legs, yikes! I won't even mention the low-cut top. Jess is a naughty girl indeed!"

Jess smiled. She had him. Becker was her admirer.

"Hey, Jess," he said, strolling in. "Ready for lunch? I see you've fixed the outfit. It's between the sizzling one you wore for me and the librarian you wore for everyone else."

She blushed. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yeah, my guys thought I was nuts. I was glad I took a photo with my mobile."

"When? When did you take a picture?"

"While you were walking out of the armory."

Jess' face fell. "Did you show the picture?"

"Had to Jess. No one believed me," said Becker.

"So, it could have been one of the men."

"What could have been?"

Jess felt utterly defeated. "Never mind."

"So, any leads on your admirer?"

"No, and I give up."

"Jess. You don't want to do that."

"Yes, I do. It's silly anyway. He's probably a pervert, lusting after me."

"So, why the lusty outfit this morning, then?"

She looked at him. He was smirking and his eyes twinkled. "You knew," she said. "You knew I was trying to trap you."

He chuckled. "Vale saw your Virgin Mary get up and we figured something was up."

"Did he enjoy the photo you snapped?" she asked crossly.

"No. He couldn't. I lied. I didn't take a photo."

"What?"

He laughed. "I give up, Jess. I wrote the things about you, on both lists."

"What! Why, I mean, why lie?"

Becker chuckled. "I don't know. I guess I have a mean streak. I'm sorry I got you down. Jess Parker giving up is something I don't want to see."

Jess smiled. "You wrote some nice things, and some naughty ones."

"Yeah, well, that's...how you make me feel," he said seriously.

She blushed. "I'm glad. I was hoping it was you."

"Now, I'm glad. By the way, would you mind not naughty-ing up that outfit again, until we're alone?"

Jess felt playful. "Why captain? What makes you think we're going to be alone?"

He smiled. "I'm optimistic. So, will you?"

"Save the saucy outfit for you? Of course. I also have another outfit I might show you, but only if we're both feeling incredibly naughty."

"How naughty?"

Jess blushed, leaned closer, and whispered, "lingerie naughty." She was so nervous, she was trembling.

She watched his eyes. Was she pushing, too much, too fast?

"It's been a while since I've been that naughty," said Becker, "but if you're up for it, so am I."

Jess sighed in relief. She giggled nervously.

Becker pulled her tight. "Let's just see where we end up, OK?"

She nodded. "OK, and thank you."

Becker smiled. He bent low, and she stretched. They smiled as their lips touched in a nice kiss. They pulled apart briefly, and kissed again. This was a naughty kiss, hot and heavy.

And in full view of a crowded canteen.

"Whoo!" yelled Abby.

"Finally," said Matt.

"Action Man!" yelled Connor.

They broke the kiss, and he held her in his arms, while she blushed.

"I guess we have to face them," said Jess.

"Maybe if we just keep kissing they'll go away," said Becker, with a raised eyebrow.

Jess smiled. "I like your thinking," and she leaned in for another naughty kiss.

The End

or do we need a naughty chapter showing the lingerie?


	4. Chapter 4

I know, I said it was over, but it felt undone. This is not the extra naughty chapter. I may still do one of those, and there will be at least one more chapter after this one.

Naughty or Nice, Part 4

The canteen was a glow, everyone giggling and cheering. Becker and Jess were doing their best to ignore it all. They were deep into a passionate kiss.

Vale stood beside the list with a marker. "Naughty or nice?" he asked, nodding toward Becker and Jess.

"It is very nice," said Emily.

"Look at them," said Connor. "They're practically devouring each other. Very naughty."

"I agree with you Connor," said Vale. "Naughty." He turned to mark on the naughty list, but stopped. "On the other hand, the captain's not known for his good humor."'

"Coward," said Connor. "Give me the marker."

"You promised no more teasing Jess," said Abby.

"I'm not teasing. I am merely observing a sweet, romantic moment between friends. It's not my fault that they happen to be having it in front of everyone," said Connor.

He smiled, and wrote on the nice list: "Jess and Becker for their first kiss." He looked at Abby. "OK?"

Abby nodded.

Connor smirked. "Now for the naughty list."

"Connor! You really shouldn't."

"I'll be tactful. (Writing) Jess and Becker, for their oral inspection of each other..."

"That's not tactful!" cried Abby.

"and their voyeuristic display of years worth of obvious attraction that they finally addressed, orally, to the immense relief and satisfaction of their friends and co-workers."

Connor finished writing and turned around, huge smile on his face.

"Bravo!" cried Vale. "Truly magnificent, Connor.!"

"Connor, sweetie, Becker is going to kill you, and Jess can do some damage too."

"It's Christmas, Abs. I was just congratulating them on their show of brotherly love."

There were snickers all around.

"I can't believe they're still snogging," said someone.

"It's like a kiss marathon," said Matt.

"I am glad they are together," said Emily.

Jess and Becker pulled slightly apart. They gasped for air, and stared at each other.

The canteen cheered.

Lester strolled in at that moment. "What is all the commotion?" he asked. Jess and Becker then locked lips again, and Lester rolled his eyes. "Never mind."

Abby laughed.

"I think I will just have coffee," said Lester. "I've lost my appetite."

"Perhaps we should ask them to come away from each other for air," suggested Emily.

"For decency, if for no other reason," said Lester.

"I do need Becker to help me with some EMD tests," said Matt. "I could wait...a while."

"I was wondering about the ARC party," said Vale. "When are the festivities, sir?"

Lester said, "Don't ask me. I left it in Miss Parker's hands, which are busy at the moment, feeling up our head of security."

Abby spewed tea all over the table. "Not words I expect or like to hear from you, Lester," she said, wiping her lips and mopping up the mess.

"Yeah, Lester. Ick," said Connor, sitting with them. "I want to know where this list is ending up."

"What on earth do you mean?" asked Lester.

"He means is there some sort of reward for the nice and punishment for the naughty," said Vale. "Or the other way around." He smirked.

"I was curious about that myself," said Matt.

"As was I," agreed Emily.

"Again, I don't know or care. Ask Jess," said Lester.

They all looked at each other, smiled, and then in one giant voice the canteen yelled, "Jess!"

Jess and Becker jumped apart. They were both red faced, with red lips.

"What?" Jess asked, annoyed.

"Sorry to interrupt," said Connor, with a smile. "When's the party?"

"And what happens with the naughty/nice list?" asked Vale.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"They want to punish the saints and reward the perverts," said Lester, "or is it the other way?"

"Or at least have a theme," said Vale. "Jess, depending on your mood, you could dress in a short angel or devil outfit."

"Watch it Lieutenant," said Becker, stepping forward.

"No offense, sir," said Vale. He retreated behind several lab and menagerie workers, all female.

"Ooh, Vale, I hadn't thought of that. Theme party. I like it."

"I'm not sure I do," said Becker.

Jess blushed. "I'll let you approve my outfit."

"You've convinced me," he said.

Jess smiled, then reluctantly took her attention from him, and turned to the canteen. She said, "OK, everyone, the party is day after tomorrow, which was in the memo I sent to each of you, but I won't dwell on how no one reads my memos, and thanks to Vale, I am now declaring a theme for the party: naughty or nice, dress either way..."

"Dress code!" interjected Lester.

"Yes, of course, but do dress within the confines of the dress code, nothing vulgar. I also remind you to bring a small toy or canned food item which we will then donate to those in need. It's going to be a very jolly and festive time.."

"And I may act out some of the more colorful actions listed on the naughty list," said Vale.

"Really?" asked Lester. "It won't be boring at least."

"Uh, don't get crazy, Lieutenant."

"I promise, Jess," said Vale. "and I'll only use one type of booze to spike the punch."

"That's not funny," said Jess.

"He isn't joking, Jess," said Becker.

"You're security, I expect you to keep everyone secure," said Jess, "and on their feet, at least acting sober."

"Is that in my job description?" asked Becker.

"It is now," said Jess. She smiled seductively. "And if you're nice, I may reward you."

"That's what I'm talking about."

"Vale!" snapped Jess and Becker in unison.

"Feliz Navidad," said Lester. "Jess, you handle the arrangements; Vale, you take care of the spiking; Becker, you do the mopping up of drunks and perverts; and I will do nothing. To show I am in the spirit, however, I shall dress up. I have the perfect costume. I shall be an executive, too busy and dignified to care about Christmas."

"You're normal suit and tie, then?"

"Indeed, Anderson."

"Would you like to come over, and help me dress?" asked Jess.

Becker smirked. "Yes, definitely."

"I think you and I are going to have to find something to do away from the flat," whispered Connor.

"Yeah, so do I," said Abby.

Jess threw her arms around Becker. "I'm going to need your help. I can't decide between a naughty elf and a nice, but cold snow queen."

Becker smiled. "I love Christmas."

End of Part 4


	5. Chapter 5

Naughty or Nice, Part 5

Rating: This was very naughty. I've edited it for a teen rating. It contains adult language, situations, and innuendos.

Naughty or Nice, Part 5

"I do like that outfit," said Becker.

Jess smiled. She stood, in her bedroom, in front of Becker wearing a Santa suit. This Santa's pants however, were incredibly short, barely covering everything. Her legs were bare, but the shiny black high heel boots came halfway up her legs.

The coat was long sleeved, red, and with a white furry collar. She wore black gloves, but unlike the real Santa, hers were lace and sexy. Her hair, gathered on one side, poked out from a fluffy Santa hat.

"You're never wearing that outside this bedroom."

She smiled, walked up, and kissed him. "What about your bedroom?"

Becker blushed, and chuckled. "You're naughty."

She grinned, flushed, and said, "I'm not really, not with anyone...but you."

He smiled, and pulled her up to him. She dangled slightly above the ground, safe in his arms, deep in a kiss.

"We're never going to pick an outfit," she said, lying her head on his shoulder.

"I can't help it. You're too distracting."

She giggled. "OK, let's get serious, and get this over."

"Good," he said. "Then maybe we can move on...to other things." He smirked.

"Becker, that is one heck of a good incentive." She turned back to her closet. "I have this angel costume I wore one Halloween. It isn't suggestive at all."

"Yes it is," corrected Becker.

"How? It's a little white dress that goes several inches past the bum. It isn't even tight."

"I remember that outfit. It's short, hints at cleavage, and says," he switched to a whisper, "forbidden."

Jess giggled. "I guess it does. OK. No on the angel. How about an elf?"

"You have an elf costume?"

"Sure," she said, pulling it out, "I like it because it's not normal elf green."

Jess made Becker turn around while she changed into it.

"Standing in a girl's bedroom while she is taking clothes off her body is not as fun as you might think."

"Becker," she said. "You're funny. Turn around."

Jess looked adorable. It was a simple straight dress, flaring out at the bottom, and striped like a candy cane, in red, white and pink. She had bright pink heels on her feet, a curly point on the toes.

Becker walked around her. "Alright, it passes inspection, and it is cute, but is it naughty or nice?"

"Nice, definitely. I help Santa deliver toys and I'm a delicious mint flavor."

Becker blushed.

"Oh, that just tumbled out. I didn't intend to be naughty just then. Sorry."

"Don't apologize. So, have we finished our business?"

She smiled. "We have."

"There was another outfit you mentioned. Something very naughty?"

"Yes," she said with a flush. "I would love to show it to you."

"I'd love to see it, but only if you're sure."

"I am. Hold on. I'll just be a sec."

"I'll wait in the living room. Call me when you're ready."

"Oh, I will."

A few minutes later, Jess called his name. He walked into her bedroom.

She wore a teddy, in an antique white lace. A thin quilted red and green ribbon wove in and out of the teddy, tying up the middle. The teddy was trimmed with quilt ribbon around the bikini edges. The bra top was bright red lace and see-through.

Her slippers matched the quilt ribbon, and were high-heeled. Her hair was loose.

"Wow," said Becker. "I'm really glad we're alone or there would be dead bodies on the floor."

"Becker," she said with a chuckle.

He walked toward her, making her heart beat fast. "You're so beautiful," he said softly.

"Thank you."

He kissed her slowly, pulling her gently toward the bed.

"I'll stop if you tell me to."

"I won't. I want this."

He smiled, picked her up and placed her on the bed. She watched with hungry eyes as he undressed. Then he crawled over her. He kissed her again. Then, locking eyes with her, he slowly untied the quilt ribbon, all the way down her middle. He gently kissed her as he went.

"Oh," she whispered.

"Shall I continue?"

"Oh, yes," she said. He smiled at her.

He pushed the teddy completely off. "I want you so much," he said.

"Me too."

She smiled at him. He moved back up to her lips and kissed her. They kissed as they became intimate. It was everything she could have hoped for.

"Are you alright?' he asked as they lay still and breathless.

She nodded. She lay on top of him, caressing his chest. He kissed her hair.

For a moment they were quiet.

"I love you," she said. "Don't say anything back. I just...I love you."

Becker held her head. "Jess...

"No, it's OK. I'm just so happy. I loved everything."

He chuckled. "That's reassuring," he said as she chuckled. "It was...brilliant."

"Yes," she agreed, looking up at him. She blushed slightly.

"Jess?"

"Hmm?"

He yawned. "I love you," he mumbled before falling asleep.

End of Chapter.


	6. Chapter 6

Naughty or Nice, Part 6, Conclusion

Rating: T

Spoilers: Series 5

Part 6

Eggnog and punch flowed freely. Vale, dressed as Don Juan, took great care in making the punch tipsy. Becker, dressed in his black uniform, danced with a nice, candy cane elf.

"Action Man? Where's your costume?"

"I'm a soldier."

"You're boring, and black. Where's your holiday cheer?" asked Connor.

"She's right here," said Becker, twirling Jess their way. She giggled as she twirled, but didn't seem to notice who the newcomers were, and twirled back to Becker.

"That's sweet," said Abby. "So, are you naughty or nice?"

Becker smirked. "I'm not telling."

Abby laughed. Abby was dressed in a tight red dress with jagged edges that hung down her legs in varying lengths. Her hair was shocking. She wore a long, wavy, fiery red wig.

"Wow, Abigail. You look stunning and... warm."

Abby laughed. "Thank you for changing it up a bit. Everyone greets me with "you're hot."

Becker laughed. "Proper greeting for a fire goddess."

"I guess. Connor owes me. I only agreed to this costume so he could be a frost giant. I thought the idea of opposites, fire and ice, was pretty cool. Oh, sorry, about the pun."

"A frost giant! So that's what you are," said Jess, giggling a little too much. "I thought you were just a big blue smurf."

"Jess!" cried Connor as everyone in hearing distance laughed. "Do smurfs wear dead animals, carry clubs, and look mean?"

"You're lucky that I know they're fake furs," said Abby. "That wolf skin looks so real its making me sick.

Connor had blue makeup on his face, neck and arms. He wore a fake leather raggedy armor on his chest and down his torso, kind of like Roman armor, but much more primitive. The wolf skin, complete with head, sat on his head and draped down his neck.

"I should have made you take that off," said Abby. "It's setting a bad example."

"It's a party, Abby, not a school lecture. And besides, how much naughtier can you get than wearing a poor, cute wolf. I'd like to see a Smurf do that, Jess."

Jess stared. "Uh, I forgot. What are we talking about?" she asked, then her eyes, slightly red and watery, focused on Abby.

Abs!" she cried, hopping into her arms. "You're here! Boy are you red! You weren't always a redhead were you? Oh, I'm so glad you're here! You can rock around the Christmas tree with me. Becky won't. Oh! Connor's blue. Has he always been blue?"

Then she hiccuped.

"How much has she had to drink?" asked Connor.

"Obviously, a little too much," said Becker. "I better check with Vale again. I think he's disobeying orders and over-spiking. Will you watch her?"

Connor and Abby nodded as Becker gestured to the spirit-laden elf jingling away to imaginary music.

"We'll keep her safe," said Abby.

Becker nodded and left for the punchbowl.

"Wait! Becky! Come back!"

"He's not leaving Jess," said Abby. "He's just checking the punch."

"Oh, good. It's very yummy, but could use a kick," she said.

Connor laughed. "I think its got plenty Jess. Abs, want to dance?"

"Yes, yes let's all dance," said the elf.

Connor and Abby stayed close to Jess. Jess was giddy, spinning around with very little coordination.

"Jess," said Abby, "let's sit down, maybe have a coffee."

"A coffee?" asked Jess. She looked confused.

"Yeah," said Connor. "A nice frothy coffee, your favorite."

"OK," said Jess. Abby maneuvered her to a table, and Connor got the coffees. They sat there for a while, and Jess seemed to calm down.

Becker and Vale, fired from punch duty, walked up to the little group.

"Quite a shindig, huh?" asked Lt. Vale "I'm loving it, so many naughty ladies. Are you naughty?" he asked Abby.

"A little of both I guess. Fire is necessary but deadly, and I bring the fire," she said dramatically.

"Is anyone nice?" asked the frost giant.

"I'm nice," said Jess with a hiccup. "Excuse me. See, nice. Beckey's nice. Hi."

Connor smirked. "Hi, Becky."

Becker scowled. "How are you feeling, Jess?"

Jess smiled with delight. 'I'm fine, Becky. You're so sweet. You're so cute, too. I love you, Becky.'

'I think maybe you should lie down,' he said.

'Becky! Naughty! In front of everyone too!"

Becker blushed.

"Yeah, she's toasted," said, Matt, wearing a smart red soldier's jacket and black pants.

"No fair!" cried Jess. "Becky, he's a soldier too! He stole your costume!"

"Is she alright?" asked Matt.

"Little too much punch," said Becker, glaring at Vale.

"Uh, excuse me. I think I'll hang out with some naughty nurses," said Vale, disappearing.

"There are naughty nurses here?" asked Conner, earning him a kick from Abby.

"Matt is a toy soldier," said Emily.

Becker smirked. "Yes, he is."

"Shut it Scrooge, at least I dressed up."

"Emily looks like a ballerina," said Jess, yawning.

"Yes, that is my costume. I am a toy ballerina. I am wearing a long skirt, the shop lady said, but it does not seem so to me."

Abby laughed. "It is, for a dancer's skirt, that's long."

Emily's light pink skirt went almost mid-calf on one side, but only hit her knee on the other. For a Victorian lady, it was scandalous. The top was much more modest, long sleeves and a scoop neck, matching the pink in the skirt.

"I'm sleepy," said Jess. "Take me to bed Becky?"

There were coughs, stares, gasps, and winks. Becker blushed redder than ever. "I'll take you to lie down, alone. That's what she meant."

"Boo!" cried the tipsy elf. "I did not! Let's snuggle up together, like last night."

Becker turned even redder and winced. He felt every eye upon him.

"Last night?" asked Abby.

"Action man!"

Becker walked over to Jess, ignored everyone else, and picked her up. She threw her arms around him, and snuggled into the soldier.

"Ah, Becky," she whispered.

He walked away from the table, face firmly staring ahead of him. He heard scoffs and giggles from behind him.

"Just rest, you two," called Matt. "She can't handle anything else! Not right now, that is." Then he giggled heartily.

"It's a good thing you're so darn cute," said Becker.

"I know. I am," she said, sleepily.

"Jess, you can't hold your liquor," he said, carrying her to a temporary quarters.

She didn't reply. She was asleep. He gently laid her on the bed, took of her elf shoes, and covered her up.

He sat on the bed and sighed. He thought about going back to the party, but one look back at the angelic Jess, and he smiled. He kicked off his shoes, and crawled in next to her.

Jess, who had seemed dead to the world, rolled into his arms. "Becky," she whispered.

Becker laughed, and kissed her head.

Back at the party, Jess' party planning was not wasted. Cupcakes, candy canes, and mince pies were scarfed down, and the Christmas spirit was flowing, in hearts and glasses.

A frost giant danced with a ballerina, as a fire goddess danced with a toy soldier. Don Juan was entertaining both the naughty and nice.

Suddenly, a burst of wind blasted through the canteen entrance and a shower of snow followed. Then Father Christmas, complete with his long green coat, furry hood, and red bag of gifts burst in.

"Happy Christmas!" he bellowed.

"Happy Christmas," the canteen called back.

Father Christmas made his rounds, handing out gifts and accepting kisses from the ladies, and shots of libations from everyone.

"Easy!" called Connor. "You're driving!"

"Ah, Connor Temple, created your own anomaly and almost destroyed the world, naughty," said Father Christmas, and he handed Connor a lump of actual coal.

"What!" cried Connor. "Yeah, I did do that but that's not all..."

"No," said Father Christmas. "You also saved the world, nice," he said, and also handed Connor a gift.

"Try to be more careful next year, eh?"

"Abigail Maitland," said Fr. Christmas.

"Yes, Lester, er, Fr. Christmas?"

"Kept that idiot alive in the Cretaceous, and helped save the world, nice," he said with a twinkle of his eyes, and handed her a gift. "By the way, congratulations," he said nodding at Connor.

Abby and Connor exchanged glances. "How did he know, did you tell him?" they asked each other in unison.

"Matt Anderson and Emily Merchant, traveling through time, messing with things, naughty."

They each held a coal piece.

"And you both saved the world, sacrificing your old lives for others, nice," he said with a grin, presenting each of them a gift.

"James Lester!" called Fr. Christmas.

Everyone laughed. "Where could he be?" asked Abby, laughing.

"Here, I am," said Lester.

Everyone gasped. They all had believed Fr. Christmas was actually Lester. Now, he couldn't be.

"James Lester, holding the ARC together, protecting your minions and sticking it to megomaniacal despots, nice."

"Do you have a twin brother?" asked Abby.

Lester shook his head, and his present. "He is a rather handsome man, isn't he."

"He looks just like you, maybe a little heavier, and more jolly," said Connor.

"As I said, handsome," said Lester.

"Happy Christmas!" cried Father Christmas, turning to wave to everyone, and then out he went, back through the canteen, followed again by wind and snow.

"What was that?" asked Abby.

"Whatever do you mean?" asked Lester, "it was Father Christmas."

The rest of the canteen was in shock, especially when they found out that gifts and coal had been distributed across the ARC, all by Father Christmas, and in a very short amount of time.

"Why are you all so confounded?" asked Lester. "He can travel very fast, you know."

The canteen slowly came out of shock, and music began playing, and dancing and eating continued.

Abby took time out from the party, and went to check on Jess. She found her asleep in Becker's arms, also sound asleep. On the bed, beside each of them was a gift, and a card.

Abby snuck up to read each one. Jess' said, "Jessica Parker, keeping the team safe and informed and a certain captain less bullish, nice. However, for the short skirts and painful high heels, naughty."

Becker's said, "Captain Becker, protecting the ARC and his teammates with an unwavering loyalty and devotion, nice. However, for being gruff and mean at times, naughty. Also, a double naughty for staring at short skirts, you know whose."

Abby stifled a laugh, and noticed for the first time, three lumps of coal, one for Jess, and two beside Becker. She tiptoed out of the room, and rejoined the party.

"So, are they being naughty?" asked Matt.

"No, they're asleep."

"Nice," said Emily.

"Nice party, eh?" said Lester. "I commend Miss Parker."

"Who was that earlier?" asked Abby.

"Who was who?" asked Lester.

"The big green man giving out coal and presents," asked Connor.

"It is interesting how much he resembled you, Lester," said Emily.

Lester shrugged.

"So who was he?" asked Matt.

Lester was surprised. He said, "Are you all dense? It was Father Christmas, of course! No more punch for you lot, you've had too much. Well, back to the festivities." And he left to mingle.

"It couldn't be," said Connor. Abby shrugged.

"I believe stranger things have happened," said Emily. "Matt and I are proof."

Abby nodded. "True. It's hard to believe, though, that we had an actual visit from..."

"Santa Claus," said Connor, grinning.

"He wore the attire of the man depicted in my time," said Emily, "not the red suit of Santa Claus."

"Yeah, I noticed that," said Connor.

Matt grinned. "Maybe he came through an anomaly."

"Maybe he did," said Abby, smiling.

Matt took a swig of punch, and said, "At any rate, Happy Christmas."

"Happy Christmas everyone!" they all shouted.

The End of Naughty or Nice


End file.
